Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Two weeks ago Geoff and I often popped down to Oxford to see the family. We visit them roughly once a month or so, sometimes it is longer depending on what we are doing.
So, off we go and we have a lovely day seeing everybody.
My mother, Ruth and my stepfather Bruce, my sister Yvonne,Geoffs daughter Wanda. Wanda is the only one who actually lives in Oxford now as his other daughter Sandra and her husband Simon has moved to Devon. Laura and Martin live in a little village in Oxfordshire so we pop in to see them on our way down to Oxford. Perrie his son and his girlfriend Tammy have now moved to France. Which is rather a long way to go in one day.
While we were there we were talking about when our next visit will be, when geoff remembered it was the may bank holiday. We looked at the calender and realized it was only two weeks away. So we said we would come down on Sunday bank holiday, 4/5/08.
My mum, Ruth and Bruce, said they would love that and so it was arranged.
We said our farewells and left on Sunday night.

Sunday, 4/5/08

Up we get and drive down to Oxford looking forward to seeing the family again.
We arrived in Oxford and Geoff dropped me off at my mums because he was going to see Wanda and was short of time.
As I arrived at their bungalow, I knocked the door and heard bruce exclaim:"It's annette."
My mum answered the door and looked surprised.
"Annette" she said. "Why didn't you let me know you were coming. I haven't even cooked you a meal?"
"Er, mum" I said gently. "we arranged this two weeks ago. We said we would come down this bank holiday weekend."
She turned and looked and looked at me.
"Oh,I didn't know you were coming."She said annoyingly.
She walked into the kitchen almost tutting.
"I haven't cooked you a meal, you have to go and get something." She said.
"Yes, o.k.I will, thats fine." I almost snapped. I was annoyed I admit.

So I popped across the road and went and got a frozen meal. That was fine I didn't mind that.

When we had finished my mum looked at me and said:"Why didn't you let me know you were coming?"
"MUM," I snapped. It was only two weeks ago we arranged this. We looked at the calender and realized it was the bank holiday and said we would come down today. You know we always come down bank holidays anyway."
"Well, I didn't know." She replied.
That afternoon we all went to see my sister, Yvonne, and had tea with her. Yvonne had no idea what we had arranged so she was non the wiser about the situation.
Still my mum kept insisting she didn't know we were coming.
But how could she forget in two weeks???


My mum will be 80 in 2 weeks time. I know I should be more understanding and allow for her age but it just got to me.
Bruce doesn't say a word about anything, he is so quiet. He just stays in the background all the time.

When geoff and I got in the car to go home I ranted a bit about what had happened and all I got from geoff was:"remember her age ......" etc etc.
As I said it is her birthday in two weeks time and she asked if we were going down that weekend (sunday) and I said yes we would.

I bet she won't forget that weekend.

1 comment:

Sage said...

So sorry to hear, it is difficult to deal with the problems of aging memories. Perhaps you could try a white board putting a date down on when you are arriving or ringing in advance but it may still not work.

All I can say is to go with the flow, and try not to get so caught up in the argument of who said what/when etc but to change the subject not giving rise to accusations flying.

I wish my mum was still alive to have these arguments with but sadly she died at the early age of 61.