Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Just a little light-heartedness I saw:
Medical reports from Glasgow:
1. The patient has no previous history of suicide.
2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
3. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
4. Patient has chest pain if she lays on her left side for over a year.
5. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had disappeared.
6. The patient has been depressed since seeing me in 1993.
7. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
8. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
9. She is numb from her toes down.
10.The skin was moist and dry.