Just a couple of jokes to cheer us up on this cold January day.

A woman in her 40's went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift.
He explained that there was a new procedure called 'The Knob' where a knob is placed on the back of the womans head and she can turn it to tighten up her skin to give the effect of a brand new face lift.
The woman readily agreed to this and the knob was placed on the back of her head.
Over the years the woman tightened the knob and the effect was wonderful. The woman looked young and vibrant.
After 15 years she started to have problems so she went back to the surgeon.
"Whats wrong?" He asked.
"Well, she said looking alarmed ," I have these great big bags under my eyes."
The surgeon went over and looked at the womans face.
"These are not bags under your eyes," He said.
"Those are your breasts."


A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife he had lost their entire fortune.
"If only you could cook," He said. "we could fire the chef."
"Yes dear," She replied. "And if you could learn how to make love, we could fire the gardener."