I must admit these are not my jokes. I have seen them on another blog site and thought you might enjoy them.
Recent research shows there are 7 kinds of sex.
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf sex
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen sex
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom sex
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotton routine and you usually have sex in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway sex
This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass your partner in the hallway you both say "Screw you."
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious sex
This is when you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon, Nun at night.
The 6th kind of sex is called: Courtroom sex
This is when you can't stand your wife anymore. She takes you to court and
screws you in front of everyone.
The 7th kind of sex is called: Social security sex
This is when you get a little each month but not enough to live on.
A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on a sunday afternoon down by the river. He goes down into the water and stands next to the preacher.
The minister turns round and notices the old drunk and says:
"Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk looks back and says:
"Yes preacher I sure am."
The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him back up.
"Have you found Jesus yet?" The minister asks.
"No, I haven't." Said the drunk
The preacher the dunks him under for a bit longer, brings him up and asks:
Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"
"No, no I haven't." Said the old drunk.
The preacher, in disgust holds the man down under for at least 30 seconds and then pulls him back up. He says in a harsh voice:
My good man, have you found Jesus yet?"
The old drunk wipes his eyes and asks the preacher:
"Are you sure this is the place where he fell in?"