What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant.

What do smart blondes and UFO's have in commom?
You always hear about them but never see them.

I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts.......and she gave me change!

What do you call a blonde standing between two brunettes?
A mental block.

Postcard from a blonde:
"Having a lovely time. Where am I?"

A man suggests they swop positions tonight.
"That's a great idea," The wife replies. "Why don't you stand by the ironing board and I'll sit on the sofa and break wind."

A man says to his new girlfriend:
"Since I first laid eyes on you, I wanted to make love to you really badly."
"Well," She replied. "You succeeded."

Why did the leprechaun wear two condoms?
To be sure, to be sure.