A man goes into a pub and sees Van Gogh sitting there quietly having a drink.
He orders his pint and walks over to him and says:
"Hi Vince, fancy a pint?"
"Oh no thanks" says Van Gogh. "I've got one ear."

Black tarmac and Concrete are arguing in a bar.
"I'm harder than you! I built the M1" Said Concrete.
Black Tarmac retorts: "I'm harder than you, I built Heathrows runways."
Just then the door bursts open and Black Tarmac and Concrete goes quiet.
The barman notices this and asks them why.
"We might be hard." Says Concrete, "but he's a bloody cycle path."